


The End

by EvenIfYouLoseYourMind



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alcoholism, Coping, Dark!Charlie, Domestic Violence, F/M, Flashbacks, Kingsman!Charlie, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind/pseuds/EvenIfYouLoseYourMind
Summary: The suave and confident Charlie Hesketh finds himself slowly spiraling out of control when an Instagram picture of his ex and her new beau sends him down a dark path of stalking and trespassing.





	The End

**Author's Note:**

> This is very violent. Please, if you feel like you may be triggered by domestic abuse and manipulation do not read! I want to keep you all safe and happy!   
> Uploaded from my tumblr (agent-absinthe)!

Charlie was in the middle of a Kingsman meeting, scrolling through social media on his glasses, like Eggsy was doing beside him, ignoring whatever Merlin was saying about drug lords.  Even Roxy across from him gave a muffled yawn and her head dipped forward before snapping back up, she had just come back from a mission to Tokyo and had yet to sleep.  It felt like just another day until a picture on Instagram flooded his system with rage.

tara_tart had just posted with the caption “The new bistro downtown is great!  Everyone go check it out!” which would have been innocent enough if it hadn’t been for the fact that she was kissing someone’s cheek and that same someone had commented on the post with “Love you babe <3”

With a few flicks and blinks of his eyes Charlie had everything about Tara’s new boyfriend laid out in front of him.  Accountant, recently graduated at the top of his class, a fitness nut with a great body, Charlie could still kill him.  That break up had nearly killed him.  They went to the same school, she was what he called a pity admission since she came from a lower middle class family.  Wasn’t much of his type at first either, a bit of a bigger girl with a soft voice she used to argue with him in Philosophy, but when he smiled at her he could tell she adored him.

It lasted for two years.  Two wonderful years.  He was going to propose, they would start a family.  Until she broke it off due to his “controlling, hyper obsessive nature” what did that even mean?

~

A sheen of sweat reflected off of Charlie’s face as he picked the lock to Tara’s apartment, using his watch to silence the security system that began beeping when he shoved it open.  Her familiar rose and peony perfume that he had bought her in Paris overwhelmed him, he almost lost himself right there in the hallway, a sob raking up his throat.  He stifled it and pushed forward into the dark apartment, noting all of her usual habits: the dishes still lying in the sink, her shoes all over the place, books piled up next to the tv.  His hands were shaking as he pushed open the bedroom door and breathed deeply trying to soak as much of her up in this small time frame as possible.

“Still so messy, love.”  He said aloud to no one but himself and the pretty cat that slunk out from under the blankets.

Charlie bent down to give it a scratch on the chin and the cat purred, looping around his legs when he straightened to explore the bedroom.  His large hands carded through her closet, pulling out a few dresses he didn’t recognize to admire before putting them back, he reached into the very back and found a scrapbook of her childhood and college memories.  He smiled, eager to see what pictures of them she had kept over the years…but as he flipped through it he realized there were no pictures of him in here at all. None.  Breathing suddenly became difficult and he tossed the book onto the floor, shoving his hand even further back into the closet and looking for a photo album- something, anything.  She would not have thrown him out of her life completely, she loved him, she’d always love him just like he loved her.

A journal was the only thing he pulled out and eagerly opened up.

_My therapist tells me that anytime something reminds me of him or I relapse into some of the habits he “groomed” me to have that I needed to write it down in here and it would make me feel better… I forgot to do the dishes last night and when I saw them in the sink this morning I had a panic attack-I was tired and forgot that he isn’t controlling my life any longer.  Thought I was going to see him coming around the corner ready to break every single one and then make me clean it up like before… sheets got wrapped around my neck from all the turning, thought it was him trying to choke me again- need to schedule another appointment with Dr. Reuben… I relapsed.  Ended up on the bathroom floor at 3 a.m scrubbing it because I had a nightmare that C came home upset it was dirty, Michael had to pick me up and carry me back to bed.  Why can’t I get rid of him?… Had a panic attack at work today, a cute boy with curly hair delivered the donuts and I thought it was Charlie, got sent home, took a few days off… Michael said he loves me and I haven’t had a nightmare in weeks.  Maybe this is where I start to heal._

Charlie snapped the journal shut, his body shaking with rage before he reopened it and began tearing the pages out handful by handful, ripping them apart further once there were none left in the spine.

“No!”  He screamed, forgetting to stay quiet in case any of the neighbors were home.

“No!”

Breathing even more ragged than before, Charlie stumbled up and over to the old, shitty vanity he had begged her to get rid of but she wouldn’t because it was her grandmothers.  The mirror spotted with old make up and a crack, he stared into the mirror remembering the night she wouldn’t listen to him and he had shoved her against it to get her attention.  Tara hit her head on the corner and caused the crack, they had to go to the emergency room for stitches.  Remembering the blood slipping across her forehead and how the nurses had looked at him like he was evil, like they were fucking superior to him the cunts- the glass shattered, Charlie immediately retching his fist back as his knuckles began to bleed _.  Deep breaths, deep breaths like Merlin taught you.  One.  Two. Three. Calm Down.  Breathe through the anger._

Sweat was dripping off his nose now, his whole body shaking so bad he could hardly stand.  It wasn’t until he heard the door unlock with a  _click_ that he forced himself to get up and move to the balcony door without so much as a creak from the floor boards.  The cat followed mewing at him.

“Come here.  Come on.” He held out his hand to it and as soon as it’s wet nose touched the tip of his finger Charlie grabbed it by the scruff, tucking the cat into his coat as he slipped out.

~

“Bruv, when did ya get a cat?”  Eggsy was in some obnoxious neon blue Adidas clothes scratching the cat, who Charlie had named Pleb as the expensive leather collar with a bright gold tag read.

“Oh, it followed me home last week.”

Charlie really couldn’t be bothered right now.  He placed a Kingsman Ghosting chip in Tara’s cellphone and could now go through all of her things, the burner phone he was using acting as an exact mirror.  Right now she was messaging her god awful boyfriend about the recent break in that had happened, the conversation was boring until she finally brought him up.

_No you don’t understand my therapy journal was ripped to shreds.  I think it might be my ex._

_What?  The one who abused you?_

_Yes.  I don’t know what to do.  What if he hurt Niko?  What if hes watching me?_

_Call the police.  He’s breaking his restraining order right?_

_I cant, his family is fucking loaded the only reason I got the restraining order is because I had documentation and testimony. I don’t have shit now._

_Fine, then I’ll stay with you.  I’ll be over tonight.  I’m not gonna let anything happen to you I love you._

_Thanks babe I love you too._

Abused.  He actually laughed, ignoring Eggsy’s questioning look, he never abused Tara never never never.  He loved her, how could he abuse her?  That’s not how that worked, how STUPID could they both possibly be, no no it wasn’t her, she was being led astray by this asshole and that therapist probably had put all kinds of ideas in her head.  Charlie would have to make sure she went back to her old self just as soon as he was able to get her back.  Although now that this bastard was trying to play protective he would have to learn stew for a few days and watch them, figure out the routine.  Luckily, Merlin had given him a few days to heal a bullet scrap to his ribs since the manor was finally properly staffed again.

~

“Michael, honey thank you so much for staying with me.  I’ve been so fucking scared lately and I didn’t know what to do, I thought he was gonna come back and-”

“No, baby I won’t let anything happen to you I swear.  I love you, I love you so much.  Maybe uh,”  Michael smiled at her sheepishly, “maybe instead of sleeping over it could just be… sleeping?  My apartment is a little bigger, I’ve got a huge closet I barely use-”

“Are you asking me to move in with you?”  Her heart felt like it was going to stop.  No, it can’t be true she was too fucked up.  Just like  _he_ had said, she was too fucked up for anyone else to want.

“Yes, baby.  Please, I know you’re scared of letting people into your space, but I wanna grow with you.  So, what do you say?”

Michael was a big guy.  6’2 and kinda beefy, a lacrosse player at university, if he wasn’t such a softie he would have made an excellent fighter.  Tara felt so protected by him and he looked at her like she was the world and not some kind of trophy or property like Charlie had. She couldn’t let the ghost of what he did to her hold her back any longer.    

“Yes.  Yes, as soon as my lease is up!”  Tara threw herself at him, pressing her lips to his fiercely.

Charlie sat in the issued vehicle with his hands knuckle white on the steering wheel as he listened in on the conversation from the frequency amplifier. No, this couldn’t happen.  It wouldn’t happen.  He reached into the glove compartment and tapped on the side twice, a Kingsman pistol with a silencer attached popped out of the bottom and he it pulled out.  Checking to make sure it was loaded and ready in case he needed to do anything tonight. Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that and tonight would be just another night of scouting, sneaking in after they were asleep and just… watching.

~

Tonight was not going to be a scouting night.

The moans from Tara’s bedroom came through so clear on the radio that Charlie might as well have been in there with them.  He had helped himself to the scotch in the back of the cab and alternated between sloppy mouthfuls, the alcohol running down his chin to soak into his shirt, and contemplating just putting the pistol in his mouth instead.  His eyes were red and irritated from staring at his fucking phone for two days straight, his body screamed for hydration and food, instead he kept feeding it scotch.

“Yes, yes.  Fuck! Michael!”  Her moans blared through the speakers and Charlie could just imagine how she was bent over letting him fuck her like a common whore.

Heavy breathing took the place of the moans and soon everything dissolved into obnoxious whispers about how much they loved each other and how nice it would be when she finally moved in with him.  

“Shut up!  Shut up shut up shut up shut up!”  He screamed so loud he could feel the strain on his vocal cords, his fist slamming into the radio repeatedly until he had damaged it to white noise.

Blood began to dot the interior of the car as it dripped down his hand, at least three broken knuckles and metacarpals, but the scotch had numbed everything.  All he felt was rage.  Charlie drug a hand down his face trying to hide the drunk sobs that were bubbling past his lips and chased them back down with the last of the scotch.  He threw the empty bottle against the passenger window where it shattered, a piece of it flying out to embed into his arm.  With the pistol tucked safely into his waist band Charlie spilled out of the cab and stumbled toward the apartment building. He made a very impressive vertical jump to grip the metal rod of a sign and used his momentum to swing and grab onto the bottom of her balcony.  Despite his drunken state he could still remember everything Eggys had taught him about parkour and gymnastics.

He lifted himself up and over the ledge; muscles straining through the thin, white shirt that was stained with perspiration as more slid down his neck.  God, they didn’t even have the fucking decency to close the curtains.  Charlie stood outside for a few seconds and simply watched them sleep, his harsh breaths fogging up the window and blocking his view.  Michael had an arm wrapped protectively around Tara, his face cradled in her neck and hair.  Idiots didn’t even lock the fucking balcony door, she must have  _wanted_ him to come in and save her.  

Tara felt warm and heavy wrapped in the blanket and Michael’s arms, could feel his chest rise and fall against her bare back, the soft cotton of his briefs rubbing against her ass.  She was so content she didn’t even register the sound of breathing until something cold and metal was pressed onto her shoulder.  Her eyes blinked open and Tara felt like a bucket of ice water had just been dumped on her.  

Charlie Hesketh stood above her.  A gun hanging limply by his side.

“Hello, love.  Miss me? I missed you so much, Tara.  So fucking much.”

She was frozen in place, only able to stare up at him before he pressed the barrel of the gun into Michael’s arm and shoved, stirring him awake.

“Oi, oi!  What the fuck, who are you?”  Michael was up immediately his intimidating stature not seeming to be effective on the just as tall man standing in his girlfriend’s bedroom.

“Charlie, mate.  Now, I need you to get the fuck out of here and stay away from my fiancé.”

“Fiance?  Listen  _mate_ you better get the fuck out of here because I won’t call the police I’ll just kick your ass.”  He hadn’t seemed to notice the gun, Charlie needed to fix that.

There was a quiet  _pop_! A bullet grazing Michael’s calf and embedding itself into the drywall.  She’d never get back the security deposit back.

“Ah fuck!  Fuck! You fucking shot me!”

Tara was sitting up now, heart pounding in her ears, everything was happening in slow motion.  

“GET OUT!”  It came out as a guttural roar barely sounding human as he shot two more bullets into the floorboard near Michael’s feet.

And he did.  Michael, the one she thought was her saving grace to make her life better, half crawled half ran out the bedroom and the front door leaving nothing but a trail of blood and his dignity behind.  She wasn’t able to mourn his abandonment for long because a hand wrapped around her upper arm and tried yanking her up.  Only for Tara to clutch the sheets to her chest and fall to the floor at his feet where the barrel of the gun was pressed to her head.

“I could handle you leaving.  Even lying about me in court to get that  _fucking_ restraining order!  And- and- and then, oh then you have to go and fucking post about him all over social media like a fucking whore.  You did it on purpose, didn’t you?  Hmm? To fucking lure me back here.”  He was bent down now, his mouth pressed against her hair.  The smell of scotch, sweat, and two day old after shave permeating around him.

“N-no, no.  Charlie, please.  Please stop, honey don’t do this-“  Tara tried breathing, a panic attack beginning to tighten her chest and make her dry heave. Memories suddenly getting jumbled together-

_“Charlie honey, please don’t do this.”  Tara was cornered in the kitchen crying, terrified of the ceramic bowl Charlie was holding in his hand.  Other dishes were broken into pieces on the floor._

_“I ask you to do one thing for me.  One!”_

_“Charlie, it’s 5 fucking dishes!  The world isn’t going to end if I leave 5 dishes in the sink until after dinner!  Stop being such a fucking psycho!”  The bowl he was holding suddenly connected with the nice oak cabinets next to her head as he advanced on her._

_“Don’t ever fucking call me that again.  Do you have any idea what I do for you?  I let you live with me in this gorgeous house that you could never afford to stay in otherwise in your pathetic fucking life.”_

_Tara didn’t back down from him.  She was tired of this, “you can’t afford this either. Your parents pay for this house you spoiled little brat!  You don’t do anything!”_

_It suddenly felt like her eye and ear had exploded, she forgets how large Charlie’s palm is sometimes.  How much of her face it can cover when he slaps her.  The blood vessels in her eye would be popped the next day, that isn’t something you can hide with make up…_

_“I don’t do anything?  I don’t do anything?”  His hands suddenly around her throat, thumbs crisscrossing against her wind pipe and fingers meeting at the nape of her neck., “you don’t do anything.  You’re lucky I even fucking looked at you, you’re so lucky to be with ME you useless fucking-”_

_Whatever he had said after that faded into blackness as he squeezed harder and pressed her into the counter-_

“I said stand up!”  He was standing again, screaming at her as she sobbed on the floor.

She tried to stand, but fell back to the floor her legs too weak, “I-I can’t.  Charlie, please-”

“Is that all you can say to me?”  He went back to squatting in front of her, his eyes raw from crying, the tears running down his face freely. “Please?  Fucking please!”

He grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked her head back as he stood. The gun suddenly pressed right under her chin and Tara began to scream.  Charlie didn’t seem to mind and yelled over her.

“I  _begged_ you not to leave!  I said I would take therapy, counseling whatever the fuck you wanted and you still left me!  Why should I listen to your begging, Tara?  Why?  I should just do it.  I can you know, I do it for a living because unlike you in your little fucking office job I actually help the world.  I kill people every single day and you’d be no different.”

“No no no no no.  I’m sorry, I’ll stay I’ll marry you.  Whatever you want honey.  I’m sorry I was so stupid-”

“Shut up!”  His vocal cords tore even more, curls stuck to his forehead from sweat, “It’s better this way.  For both of us-”

It was happening.  He going to do it.  Tara stared up at her ceiling and closed her eyes, praying for something, anything.

“I love you.  M’ sorry it had to come to this.”

“Charlie, no!”

His finger flexed around the trigger as several beams of light suddenly shone on him accompanied by screaming.

“Drop it!  Drop the fucking gun or I will drop you!  Step away from her, hands on your head!  I said hands on your fucking head pretty boy!”

After an officer had Charlie’s cheek smashed into the hardwood floor he saw Michael run into the bedroom, a paramedic chasing after him, and slide to the floor by Tara’s side.  He had gone to get help.  Of fucking course.  

He had sweated out all the scotch, it left behind a pounding headache.

~

Merlin was in sweats and a stained tshirt when he picked up Charlie a few hours later at the station.  The Scotsman looked fucking livid.

“Kingsman resources.  Ye used kingsman resources to stalk your ex-girlfriend.  Charlie do ye have any fucking idea how many strings, how many cover ups I have to do to fix this.  Anyone else would have left ye in that cell.  Harry- fuck, Arthur is not to know about this, ye hear me?  Don’t open your fucking mouth at all.”

Charlie’s forehead laid against the car window. He felt like shit. Being berated by the only authority figure he ever looked up to in his life didn’t help.

“I don’t know what to do, Merlin.  I didn’t have anyone else to call.  You helped me with the anger management stuff I just…”

“We’re putting you in therapy.”

“No-”

Merlin suddenly turned the wheel, sending the car into a dead end street with no cars and slamming on the brake.

“You just ruined someone’s life.  All you fuckin’ posh brats don’t seem to understand what that means. Charles, you put a gun to a civilian’s throat and threatened her life.  Startin’ tomorrow you’re going to therapy and I’m putting you on mental recuperation leave until you’re safe to go out on missions.  You’re gonna be on Manor arrest until I can trust ye not to try this again.”

Merlin’s age was showing as he pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to look at the young agent by his side who had started to cry, his face still turned towards the window.

~

It had been a month or so now.  Tara honestly hadn’t been counting.  Too busy moving her things into Michael’s place, he was with her every step of the way now.  Through the therapy, the crying, the nightmares.  Sometimes it was both of them waking up at night in a cold sweat, Michael’s calf burning from the memory of the bullet.

But it was getting better.

It was a sunny day for once.  A breeze blowing through the open window as Tara folded some linen to put in the hall closet, smiling at the thought of baby blankets in there one day. She was distracted from the daydream by a faint meow and looked down to see a much fatter Niko staring up at her like he had never been gone.

“Niko!  Baby!” The cat purred in her arms as she held him noticing the new collar with a golden sideways K on it.  The same symbol on the letterheads that announced they would be paying off any debt she owed.  

It always came down to power and money, didn’t it?  Just another thing to be swept under the rug.


End file.
